Strictly Personal

Sometimes I worry about being in North Carolina. The worries stem for two reasons 1) I won’t meet the contact that will help me with my career 2) that my art will suffer because I am not being stimulated by a community. There are small other ones but for the most part they are really insignificant to the point that I can’t recall them right now. The first situation of not meeting that special contact always gives me anxiety till I realize that when I did live in NYC I met no magical contact. The second does worry me till I thought about it today.

For however long, artist in communities created better art. There was a lot of cross-polination going on with ideas, problems, aesthetics, politics. I have worried I was not recieving that ideal stimulation. But like the earlier problem, when in NYC, I rarely was challenged or pushed. Well actually, I did, but a lot in college and also working on specific challenging projects. But there was no community I joined that got my creativity going. Maybe it was just me.

At times, Kelly will apologize for “dragging” me out of NYC. I will explain to her that this was my choice and I have never been as productive like I am now. And this is God’s honest truth. I got projects up the wazoo. I have never felt so creative. The city was seriously seducing me every time out. I could never get anything done. I watched so many more movies, I was exposed to so much more art, so much more life. But it was too much. I am addicted to seeing. I could watch anything, really. But I wasn’t creating anything. So the move was great for me!

More than that, we are at a point where silence is more important than communication. Where distance is better than proximity. I could be wrong. But it feels so. Because we are bombarded with communication. There is no art that is outside of the online world. There is no idea that is outside of the online world. Which means most of the important stimulations are available to me. I said most because the biggest stimulant is a person-to-person conversation. And in many ways my wife has been that for me. Maybe not all but a lot of what I need. Every idea, every thought – there is always Kelly to bounce it of. I could have never imagined how useful it was to have someone so close to you and knowing your work inside out. My work relationship with my wife has been the most fruitful of stimulations. No ego, same sides, same ambition. She wants what I want as much as I do. A two person community in a sea of over-stimulation.